left out

All names have been changed.

Lately, I’ve been a bit irked. There’s a relatively long story about this, so I’ll just tell it all.  I had a fairly serious, heart-to-heart conversation with Bonnie while on a day trip to get some delicious cakes for this boy she’s been talking to, Matt. This bakery was really famous for their cakes, and she was surprised when she found out that he had never tried them before. This bakery was a relatively far away, and she didn’t want to go alone, so she asked if I could come along. With nothing else to do that day, I went with her. While in the car, she mentioned how two of our friends have been going out for several months, but have been laying low. I’ve known Sharon for most of my life, and Alan seemed like a great guy, so I was happy for them. After this, the conversation turned into how romantic we are, and what sort of person we were looking for. In any case, Bonnie shared a lot of important things. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years, Chris, who I hated with a passion. He was annoying and pretended like he knew everything. Ick. Anyway, she mentioned how she really liked Matt, how totally different he was from Chris. Matt didn’t smoke, drink, and was in the military. In a few weeks, he would be sent across the country for training, then he would be deployed to Afghanistan. Scary. So because of his situation, she felt really unsure about how to proceed in their relationship.

 I had to be honest with her. How serious was she planning on being with him if she seriously got out of a serious relationship just a few weeks ago? Bonnie said she felt that Matt was different, and that after a crappy relationship with Chris, she knew was she needed in her life, and Matt provided all those things. Since she sounded honest, I gave her my advice. After discussing it, we both came to the conclusion that she should still try to make it work, to have some sort of relationship with him. She would write to him all the time, and try to salvage their relationship, because if she didn’t, she might end up regretting it later. We ended up getting the cake, and she told me to come over to her house later, so Matt would be able to meet her friends.

I was really intrigued to meet this guy, so I went to her house later that evening, and found my friends there too. Sharon and Alan were there. Alan brought his friend Lamar, and our friend Sophie was there too. My brother came with me and he immediately dove into Bonnie’s backyard pool. The rest of us sat by the little fire pit. Bonnie looked anxious, it was sweet. Sharon said her other friend, Jordan, whom I had heard of but never met, would also be coming. Jordan came a bit later, and we all sat around, talking, joking, just hanging out. Lamar was a funny guy, a little low key, he was from out of state. Jordan went to high school with Sharon, Alan and Sophie.  He was funny too, just in a really irreverent way. For example, he answered his phone with “What’s up bitch?” In any case, Matt finally came. He was gorgeous. Even Alan was like “whoa”. After a while though, Jordan left, then Alan and Lamar, and finally, we all had to, aside from Matt. Still, Bonnie felt weird about it just being the two of them, as her parents were home and it would give the wrong message, so he was the last to leave.

I didn’t really see them again until a week later. Still, things were a bit different- people were acting really strangely. I suddenly felt left out of this secret that had happened during the week. It turns out, Sharon, Alan and Jordan had slept over at Bonnie’s house two days last week. I wasn’t too bummed about that, I was working, and I had other things to do. In any case, Bonnie invited everyone to her house, and the usuals were there: Sharon, Alan, Sophie, and our friend Ben, who was still jetlagged from his vacation. Bonnie had family over at the same time, so her mom told her to pick up pizzas for everyone. Sophie, Ben and I went with her to pick them up. I was in the backseat with Ben, and we discussed his vacation to see his brother. Meanwhile, Bonnie and Sophie were speaking in hushed tones about something that had happened. I tried not to think much of it. We came back and ate, talked, the usual. Sharon left to go home. After singing some karaoke, Sophie too, had to go home. While outside with Ben, Alan and Bonnie, Alan and Bonnie were talking about something that had happened while everyone slept over. Bonnie had said something like “Well, when you saw me and Jordan, what did you think?” Ben and I were confused, and I wanted to know what was going on. Bonnie and Alan tried to play it off, and Alan said that it might come up again, and if it does, we’ll let you know. Needless to say, I felt like Barney in How I Met Your Mother. “Tell people what. Tell people what. I wanna know.”

The next time we hung out, Bonnie seemed to be more into checking her phone than usual. Suddenly, Jordan was getting invited to everything. I didn’t have a problem with it, I liked Jordan. I just felt that it was weird. No mention of Matt again in any way at all, and Jordan suddenly much more involved than usual. I had a feeling that something had happened between Bonnie and Jordan when he slept over.

Finally, here’s the reason I’m so irked about it all. We had such a serious conversation, and then she goes and completely changes her mind. I just wish she would be honest with me. I felt rather duped. I feel very wary now of giving her any advice. If Matt really represented a lot of the things she wanted, then why go out with Jordan who is a cool guy, but slightly reminiscent of her old boyfriend, whom she was completely over. I want to talk to her about it, but I’m worried she’ll think I’m just being nosy. Wow that was a rather long story but I feel just really irritated, and I don’t want to blow up in her face about it.  I just felt so left out of it all.

It’s funny, at the pool meeting with Matt, I was talking to Sophie. Turns out she gets left out of a lot of things too. Hey, I’m your friend, and I feel that as your friend, I want to hang around you. We both felt that yeah, it hurts when we’re left out. It’s good to know I’m not alone in t his.

push.

• Aimmee back in town! <333 And of course, Definitely, Maybe. The fact that it's from the same people that made Love Actually makes me even more excited.
• Aimz in town means one thing- more hanging out with Dar. I hope I get to see his new dog. cuute.
  
• Finally my AMC Movie Watcher card came in the mail. Yay for points.
• NBA All-Star Weekend. Well, not that I'm COMPLETELY excited about that, it gives me something to do.
• Honestly, I know this is bad, but no work. YAY. Work's not bad, it's just that I'm still in the beginning- I will adjust.
  
• My cousin is giving me Pokemon. Sweeet.
  
• Oh, Becoming Jane is out on DVD tomorrow. Can't help that both James McAvoy and Anne Hathaway are in it. Very interested to hear her British accent.
• Splurging on DVDs that are on sale for Valentine's Day. Yess. More romantic comedies and the like.
• And actually, I hope I can actually get SOMETHING done this weekend. But, looking at the above things... Yeah. Right.
  

Time

[song: Jon McLaughlin- So Close]

I find myself in the Horn Center, waiting for class to start, and just loitering here in the computer lab, checking my mail, going on facebook, reading sports articles, articles on the election, etc. Wow. Hard to believe that I've essentially been sitting here, wasting time, while I could be doing something worthwhile, like study. Then again, I may not have to study. Here's the thing. I hear there's a new section opening for a class and I want it. Now, taking the class means I will have to drop two classes- economics and psychology. Not exactly classes I find entirely important. I mean, they are important for grad school, but not so much for the right now. Plus, I may be getting a job. Key word: maybe. I am still figuring out scheduling, and it's not so easy, plus I may not be the right person for it. I am seriously hoping this pans out. I just need to hear from my teacher, and I may have a decent shot at this. Time will tell.

<3

Winning Championships

Timing.